Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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