the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
