Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
