Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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