apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
