Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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