I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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