I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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