Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
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Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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