Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
