sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
