my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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