Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
