I want to make a zoo with you.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
