I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
