That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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