mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
