Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
