is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
