but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
