Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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