Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I had to cum in my sink.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
