Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes

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(201): View more from New Jersey

They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.

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(904): View more from Florida

naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.

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Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(417): View more from Missouri

She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.

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(352): View more from Florida

This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode

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(727): View more from Florida

I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday

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(708): View more from Illinois

I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?

(224): View more from Illinois

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

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(561): View more from Florida

The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.

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