have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
My breasts were aching with rage.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point