I am puke
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
time to smoke my breakfast
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Can you bring me the toilet please
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?