I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.