Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
