I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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