Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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