WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
