pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
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Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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