At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
