My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
