I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
then he tried to convert me to islam
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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