The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
