covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
