It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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