a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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