Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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