I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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