I met the friendliest cop last night
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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