we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
