After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
