I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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