He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
