Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
