There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
