it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
