If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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