She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm having to shit out rocks
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