Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
