maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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