Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
