I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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