i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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