Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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