If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
