Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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