im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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