Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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