your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
