Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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