I just saw a hot homeless man
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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